Scott,
My adult son is a financial disaster. He owes money to lenders I’ve never even heard of – Credit24, Fair Go, Pepper – and over the years I’ve paid off loans that weren’t mine just to keep him afloat. Now some ‘consultant’ has told him to borrow from family to pay off his debts and start again. But I’ve heard that line before. For eight years, I’ve been his safety net. I’m emotionally exhausted, financially drained, and now he’s asking me to take out a loan in my name. I’m in my 60s. I can’t keep doing this. Please – how do I help him without sacrificing myself?
Helen
Helen,
You’re not going to like my response.
Heck, I don’t even like my response, but I’m going to give it to you anyway:
Helen, you are failing as a mum.
By continually bailing him out for the past eight years you’ve robbed him of the chance to grow up.
Worse, you’ve put your own financial future in jeopardy doing it!
My advice?
Tell him the Bank of Mum is officially closed. No loans. No co-signing. No exceptions.
“No” is a complete sentence.
If you keep rescuing him, he’ll end up being a 50-year-old flailing around with his financial floaties on, waiting for his mummy to rescue him from the shallow end of life.
Suggest that he call a free financial counsellor via the National Debt Helpline (1800 007 007), and that they’ll help him sort out his mess.
You’re a kind woman, and a loving mum. But right now, Helen, you’re killing him with kindness.
Scott
